Lackawanna Blues

The power of Khia compels you.

My sugar just shot through the roof!

Deep in the bowels of Alabama, Antoine LIVES and TWIRLS.  It's not his red scarf or his yellow smoker's teeth that sends my kidneys on a joyride for Jesus.  It's the Negro expertise with which he narrates the story that gives me flashbacks of slavery.  Harriet Tubman would get her life.

While I'm over here getting my insulin fix and reading a Psalm, get into the fuckery:

The People Under the Stairs

Moses please lead me out of this here desert!

I's only got one question: What in Jesus' name happened to Li'l Kim's face?

Forget the jacked-up, wanna-be white nose; why come her make-up looks like a blind toddler with Tourette's Syndrome put it on for her?

And the wig/lace-front is a bonafide FOOL.

She needs Jehovah STAT!

Let us pray.

You Mad?

Somebody please tell me there's a Psalm or Proverb for this:

 

When People Don't See What I See

 Eddie Munster and Drake: Separated at Birth?

I'm just saying.

Praise Jesus.

Zoop!

My nipples and my bellybutton are in the same place, and what?

Finally, a honest fat person. Praise Jesus.

My, My, My, the Devil is a Liar!

(Put on your red dress, Miss Thang!)

Baby, you ain't gotta lie.

Erybody and they mother know you gay. I mean, it's common knowledge. You can sit up there until all the mascara disappears from your face and you ain't gone be nothing but gay. You AND Eddie Murphy. I don't care how many kids you got. Homosexuals make babies too!

I don't care what nobody say. Ain't no man that damn feminine unless he gettin poked in the booty. Let's just put the shit on out there. Praise the lawd.

I can already hear the children gettin mad at Skrawberry: "It ain't none of your got damn business what Johnny Gill do!" "I hate when people try to out somebody!" "Why you worried about Johnny?" "It's people like you that make the world hate gay people!"

Here's my early response: so, because, and too damn bad. Y'all queens always finna shoot the messenger. Y'all doing too much. Y'all best sit down and shut up before you get your wig snatched lovely.

Or before you get gunkified.

For your viewing pleasure, Miss Jonetta Gill:

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Stop the Dumbness

Chris Brown on the set of Precious.

The worse thing about Chris Brown ain't that he wore Rihanna's ass out. It's that he's about as smart as a can of Old English.

This motherfucking grown ass man didn't know what the census was. Oh, so you can sing and dance and punch Caribbean girls in the forehead, but you can't open a letter and read what it says?

Where are the parents, Jehovah? Why come they let this boy have an interview knowing he ain't got the sense You gave him?

Oh, Miss Brown. I'ma pray for you (that's Christian for "I think you're an asshole").