Lackawanna Blues

The power of Khia compels you.

My sugar just shot through the roof!

Deep in the bowels of Alabama, Antoine LIVES and TWIRLS.  It's not his red scarf or his yellow smoker's teeth that sends my kidneys on a joyride for Jesus.  It's the Negro expertise with which he narrates the story that gives me flashbacks of slavery.  Harriet Tubman would get her life.

While I'm over here getting my insulin fix and reading a Psalm, get into the fuckery:

Calorie Queens

Fat people make me sick.

I know you supposed to be proud of who you are and all that, but let's face facts:

1. You're big as a duplex.
2. Thighs ain't supposed to have dimples.
3. Men ain't supposed to have titties.
4. Fat people have a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and gingivitis.
5. Spandex wasn't made for you.
6. I hate when you eat up all the food.
7. You sweat too damn much.
8. That cheesy substance between the folds of your ass, groin, breast, neck, and armpit areas? That's not supposed to be there.
9. I don't have the time or strength to lift your belly to find your microscopic penis.
10. One chin is enough.

Ya'll got me speaking in tongues.  Gunkified.