Lackawanna Blues

The power of Khia compels you.

My sugar just shot through the roof!

Deep in the bowels of Alabama, Antoine LIVES and TWIRLS.  It's not his red scarf or his yellow smoker's teeth that sends my kidneys on a joyride for Jesus.  It's the Negro expertise with which he narrates the story that gives me flashbacks of slavery.  Harriet Tubman would get her life.

While I'm over here getting my insulin fix and reading a Psalm, get into the fuckery:

The People Under the Stairs

Moses please lead me out of this here desert!

I's only got one question: What in Jesus' name happened to Li'l Kim's face?

Forget the jacked-up, wanna-be white nose; why come her make-up looks like a blind toddler with Tourette's Syndrome put it on for her?

And the wig/lace-front is a bonafide FOOL.

She needs Jehovah STAT!

Let us pray.

You Mad?

Somebody please tell me there's a Psalm or Proverb for this:

 

My, My, My, the Devil is a Liar!

(Put on your red dress, Miss Thang!)

Baby, you ain't gotta lie.

Erybody and they mother know you gay. I mean, it's common knowledge. You can sit up there until all the mascara disappears from your face and you ain't gone be nothing but gay. You AND Eddie Murphy. I don't care how many kids you got. Homosexuals make babies too!

I don't care what nobody say. Ain't no man that damn feminine unless he gettin poked in the booty. Let's just put the shit on out there. Praise the lawd.

I can already hear the children gettin mad at Skrawberry: "It ain't none of your got damn business what Johnny Gill do!" "I hate when people try to out somebody!" "Why you worried about Johnny?" "It's people like you that make the world hate gay people!"

Here's my early response: so, because, and too damn bad. Y'all queens always finna shoot the messenger. Y'all doing too much. Y'all best sit down and shut up before you get your wig snatched lovely.

Or before you get gunkified.

For your viewing pleasure, Miss Jonetta Gill:

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For Colored Boys Who Considered Suicide When a Sex Change Wasn't Enuff

The power of Christ compels you!

Nuh uh, Pazuzu. I will not let you take this here child. Not until I can take a kiddie perm to his peasy head. And not until Jesus Power helps me rip those leotards off his legs.

This is what happens when you let Rihanna, Beyonce, Ne-Yo, and Trey Songz raise your kids for you: dicks turn into pussies and trollops are born.

I got a bible and a hot comb.  One of these is gonna work.

The End of Days

Revelations ain't got shit on this here.

Not even Lee Daniels's Precious self-hatin' ass could have conjured this shit up!

These two queens at the Welfare Office got into a fight.  Jehovah knows where they was at.  Coulda been Compton or Detroit or St. Louis or the Bronx or Atlanta or Baltimore or Camden.  Any place niggers stay niggers no matter how many Bible verses you read to them.  Anywho, they was kickin and punchin and hittin and thowin each other all over the place.  But that ain't the worst part.

Then, in a stunning move that made even Jesus gag, one of the bitches vogued.  In front of everybody.  And had the nerve to think she was cute.  Shameless.

There's a special place in Tartarus for the walking cunts.  Believe it.

Gunkified all day.

The Whores of Babylon

Give Jehovah a clap praise. Now, befo you put yo tithe in the plate, take a gander at these here heathens masquerading as God's children. Settin up there in front the TV gyratin and pulsatin and carryin on like hoes in a harem.  The three of them. Sodom, Gammorah, and Mary Magdalene.  There's so much Kotex in that room I could crochet me a blanket.  There's so much estrogen in that room, I can grow me a thousands breasteses.  There's so much yaki in there, I can make Vivica Fox pretty again.  Well, maybe not that last thing.  I ain't no witch.  But NTways....

Jesus said we shall know the beast by the mark, and these bitches is marked.

I blame Beyonce.  Her is the Anti-Christ.  Who else could turn men into women without surgery?

Lookahere:

When Cuntiness Goes Wrong

Y'all give me the swine flu.

Why come everybody think puttin a video on You Tube make them a starra? Get into this Living Vagina in the video below. You can't tell her she is not a bonafide woman with her imported yaki weave all braided up into a got damn Dilophosaurus hairdo.

I swear y'all freaks give me topics.

Jehovah, I'm yo witness:

Cheeseburgers for Jesus

Church sissies is singing hymns for McDonald's and y'all mad at me?  Shit.

I wonder if Jesus likes Happy Meals.

Gunkified.

Jesus Walks, Honey

 

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Miss Donitra McClurkin is vury mad at all the LGBTQ kids for not renouncing they dildos, strap-ons, and midnight booty-shot rendezvous for a quick prayer meeting at C.O.G.I.C. (aka Chile, Old Girls Is Crazy).   She wants you to know that Jesus can help you overcome your same-sex desires.  Too bad Jesus can't make a bitch stop lying, though.  Donitra knows she be gettin' that pussy turnt out every chance she gets.  Talking 'bout just because she's on a diet don't mean she don't wanna eat.  Tramp, please.  Just because you got up in front of a stadium full of Christian homophobes and put on Holy Ghost Stunts and Shows don't mean you ain't sucking dick like a Hoover and gettin' that ass pumped like gas!

Your slip is showing, Miss One. What did Miss Kanye say?  Jesus Walks...for the gods, baby. You better get into it.

Yup.  That's right.  You just been gunkified.