Zoop!

My nipples and my bellybutton are in the same place, and what?

Finally, a honest fat person. Praise Jesus.

Baby Fat

No bitch, I'm hungry!

Get you a piece of this video here. This F.I.T. (Faggot in Training) is getting life with a banana and a Lady Gaga song, Mickey Moused down. Apparently, cunts come in all ages, shapes, and sizes.

How your baby's belly that big and he's not even 10 yet? Underoos all stretched out and what not. Lawd ha' mercy. How much you wanna bet the person holding the camera is a biggun too?

Ooh, that made me chuckle.

Y'all say I'm harsh on the fat children. I say stop eatin.

Y'all say I'm mean. I say y'all gunkified.

Calorie Queens

Fat people make me sick.

I know you supposed to be proud of who you are and all that, but let's face facts:

1. You're big as a duplex.
2. Thighs ain't supposed to have dimples.
3. Men ain't supposed to have titties.
4. Fat people have a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and gingivitis.
5. Spandex wasn't made for you.
6. I hate when you eat up all the food.
7. You sweat too damn much.
8. That cheesy substance between the folds of your ass, groin, breast, neck, and armpit areas? That's not supposed to be there.
9. I don't have the time or strength to lift your belly to find your microscopic penis.
10. One chin is enough.

Ya'll got me speaking in tongues.  Gunkified.

Jesus Be a Fence!

"I just wanna be successful."  No bitch.  You just wanna-be.  Miss Erica West: STAN

Jesus, be a fence all around me, eryday!

I cain't.  I cain't no mo.  Y'all done got my pressure up and now I'ma need to whip ya tail.  Go on out there to the tree and fetch me a switch.  A big one.  Wit thorns on it.  And iffen you come back wit anything too small, Jehovah is gonna come down askin' me why come your blood is callin' out to him from the ground.

Y'all ever hear of this pussy cunt cunt named Eric West?   No?  Don't tell she that.  Her swears to Lucifer her's famous.  Matter fact, her thinks desperately trying to be famous is the same thang as being famous.  Her had the nerve to sing on a Six Flag demo and send it around like it was a forthcoming single from she non-existent album.  Her claimed to have a starring role in some d-list movie, but her was really just an extra.  Her's just an ex-Janet Jackson groupie (or maybe not so ex since her is still stalking Miss Jackson judging from this photo) with a Happy Meal and a four finger plan to try to make a dollar out of fifteen cents.  Gull, her missed, her missed, her missed like this.

But this whore got an extra bag of trickery.  Her gets turnt out by security guards and back-up dancers in exchange for them finding a way to get she onto red carpet events to be photographed or to get backstage to take pictures wit celebrities.  Her even had Miss Wikipedia thinking her was somebotee, until she card was pulled lovely and that ass got deleted.  Ooh, see.  Now this faker done got my sugar up.  Where's my insulin at?

Her's beat in that photo, though.  I ain't even gonna lie.  But beatness ain't stardom.  Ask ya grandmama if you don't know.

The devil is a liar, chile.  I'm sanctified.  But Ms. West ain't.  No honey.

She's gunkified.

Holy Ghost on the Runway

My memory ain't what it use ta be.

Now let me see here. Was it Leludacris? Doucheronomy? Exsqueezetheseashyfeet? Come on now. Y'all know y'all bible chapters. Ain't you got no learning?

NTways. The chapter that talks about Jehovah's rules. The one where you ain't allowed to wear shoes wit buckles, eat clams on a Sunday, comb your hair to the east, or play hopscotch wit white people. Ain't that the same chapter that say boys ain't allowed to slap they sticks togeva?

Now, I ain't exackly seen Chris Brown put his anteater on somebody's sturgeon, but look a here at this dancing. Ain't this what the children do at the heathen clubs? Ms. Brown is givin me all types of feva in this video. Maybe this explains why he wailed on that big foreheaded chile from Africa: she ain't had the right mechanicals in the private area.

Jehovah, your chaps is too many things! Somebody go get me my Doans pills and hand me my church fan. You know. The one made out of paper with a picture of Jesus looking upwards and the words "The Sanctified Church of the Holly Roller Trinity Resurrection for the Divine Blood in Christ Trinity Tabernacle Ministries" printed on Jesus' dress. Yes, dress. Jesus was not ashamed of who he was.

Y'all got me to babblin. Look at this video and you tell me if Chris Brown took his piggy to the market. I gotta take my hat to the cleaners, play my numbers, and get my can of Colt 45.

Yeah. Of course, chile. Gunkified.