Lackawanna Blues

The power of Khia compels you.

My sugar just shot through the roof!

Deep in the bowels of Alabama, Antoine LIVES and TWIRLS.  It's not his red scarf or his yellow smoker's teeth that sends my kidneys on a joyride for Jesus.  It's the Negro expertise with which he narrates the story that gives me flashbacks of slavery.  Harriet Tubman would get her life.

While I'm over here getting my insulin fix and reading a Psalm, get into the fuckery:

When People Don't See What I See

 Eddie Munster and Drake: Separated at Birth?

I'm just saying.

Praise Jesus.

Calorie Queens

Fat people make me sick.

I know you supposed to be proud of who you are and all that, but let's face facts:

1. You're big as a duplex.
2. Thighs ain't supposed to have dimples.
3. Men ain't supposed to have titties.
4. Fat people have a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and gingivitis.
5. Spandex wasn't made for you.
6. I hate when you eat up all the food.
7. You sweat too damn much.
8. That cheesy substance between the folds of your ass, groin, breast, neck, and armpit areas? That's not supposed to be there.
9. I don't have the time or strength to lift your belly to find your microscopic penis.
10. One chin is enough.

Ya'll got me speaking in tongues.  Gunkified.

The End of Days

Revelations ain't got shit on this here.

Not even Lee Daniels's Precious self-hatin' ass could have conjured this shit up!

These two queens at the Welfare Office got into a fight.  Jehovah knows where they was at.  Coulda been Compton or Detroit or St. Louis or the Bronx or Atlanta or Baltimore or Camden.  Any place niggers stay niggers no matter how many Bible verses you read to them.  Anywho, they was kickin and punchin and hittin and thowin each other all over the place.  But that ain't the worst part.

Then, in a stunning move that made even Jesus gag, one of the bitches vogued.  In front of everybody.  And had the nerve to think she was cute.  Shameless.

There's a special place in Tartarus for the walking cunts.  Believe it.

Gunkified all day.

The Whores of Babylon

Give Jehovah a clap praise. Now, befo you put yo tithe in the plate, take a gander at these here heathens masquerading as God's children. Settin up there in front the TV gyratin and pulsatin and carryin on like hoes in a harem.  The three of them. Sodom, Gammorah, and Mary Magdalene.  There's so much Kotex in that room I could crochet me a blanket.  There's so much estrogen in that room, I can grow me a thousands breasteses.  There's so much yaki in there, I can make Vivica Fox pretty again.  Well, maybe not that last thing.  I ain't no witch.  But NTways....

Jesus said we shall know the beast by the mark, and these bitches is marked.

I blame Beyonce.  Her is the Anti-Christ.  Who else could turn men into women without surgery?

Lookahere:

Goblins Are Running Rampant!

 Separated at birth? Sandra Rose (top) and a random pig.

Y'all ever see a photo of this Obama-hating whore named Sandra Rose? Chile, never in a trillion years have I ever seen a tramp as ugly as this one. Now I see why she be on her blog hatin' 24/7. That bitch got a ugly complex.  Lashin' out at pretty folks because her face genes are defective.  And it ain't kuz she darkskinned.  This hoe is just plain ugly irregardless of the color of her complexion. 

Fuck a rose! They should call her Sandra Snapdragon. Y'all heard it here first.

Good mernting!  I'm Skrawberry Gunk and Sandra Rose has just been gunkified.