You Mad?

Somebody please tell me there's a Psalm or Proverb for this:

 

My, My, My, the Devil is a Liar!

(Put on your red dress, Miss Thang!)

Baby, you ain't gotta lie.

Erybody and they mother know you gay. I mean, it's common knowledge. You can sit up there until all the mascara disappears from your face and you ain't gone be nothing but gay. You AND Eddie Murphy. I don't care how many kids you got. Homosexuals make babies too!

I don't care what nobody say. Ain't no man that damn feminine unless he gettin poked in the booty. Let's just put the shit on out there. Praise the lawd.

I can already hear the children gettin mad at Skrawberry: "It ain't none of your got damn business what Johnny Gill do!" "I hate when people try to out somebody!" "Why you worried about Johnny?" "It's people like you that make the world hate gay people!"

Here's my early response: so, because, and too damn bad. Y'all queens always finna shoot the messenger. Y'all doing too much. Y'all best sit down and shut up before you get your wig snatched lovely.

Or before you get gunkified.

For your viewing pleasure, Miss Jonetta Gill:

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Baby Fat

No bitch, I'm hungry!

Get you a piece of this video here. This F.I.T. (Faggot in Training) is getting life with a banana and a Lady Gaga song, Mickey Moused down. Apparently, cunts come in all ages, shapes, and sizes.

How your baby's belly that big and he's not even 10 yet? Underoos all stretched out and what not. Lawd ha' mercy. How much you wanna bet the person holding the camera is a biggun too?

Ooh, that made me chuckle.

Y'all say I'm harsh on the fat children. I say stop eatin.

Y'all say I'm mean. I say y'all gunkified.

Calorie Queens

Fat people make me sick.

I know you supposed to be proud of who you are and all that, but let's face facts:

1. You're big as a duplex.
2. Thighs ain't supposed to have dimples.
3. Men ain't supposed to have titties.
4. Fat people have a greater risk for heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and gingivitis.
5. Spandex wasn't made for you.
6. I hate when you eat up all the food.
7. You sweat too damn much.
8. That cheesy substance between the folds of your ass, groin, breast, neck, and armpit areas? That's not supposed to be there.
9. I don't have the time or strength to lift your belly to find your microscopic penis.
10. One chin is enough.

Ya'll got me speaking in tongues.  Gunkified.

For Colored Boys Who Considered Suicide When a Sex Change Wasn't Enuff

The power of Christ compels you!

Nuh uh, Pazuzu. I will not let you take this here child. Not until I can take a kiddie perm to his peasy head. And not until Jesus Power helps me rip those leotards off his legs.

This is what happens when you let Rihanna, Beyonce, Ne-Yo, and Trey Songz raise your kids for you: dicks turn into pussies and trollops are born.

I got a bible and a hot comb.  One of these is gonna work.

The Whores of Babylon

Give Jehovah a clap praise. Now, befo you put yo tithe in the plate, take a gander at these here heathens masquerading as God's children. Settin up there in front the TV gyratin and pulsatin and carryin on like hoes in a harem.  The three of them. Sodom, Gammorah, and Mary Magdalene.  There's so much Kotex in that room I could crochet me a blanket.  There's so much estrogen in that room, I can grow me a thousands breasteses.  There's so much yaki in there, I can make Vivica Fox pretty again.  Well, maybe not that last thing.  I ain't no witch.  But NTways....

Jesus said we shall know the beast by the mark, and these bitches is marked.

I blame Beyonce.  Her is the Anti-Christ.  Who else could turn men into women without surgery?

Lookahere:

Holy Ghost on the Runway

My memory ain't what it use ta be.

Now let me see here. Was it Leludacris? Doucheronomy? Exsqueezetheseashyfeet? Come on now. Y'all know y'all bible chapters. Ain't you got no learning?

NTways. The chapter that talks about Jehovah's rules. The one where you ain't allowed to wear shoes wit buckles, eat clams on a Sunday, comb your hair to the east, or play hopscotch wit white people. Ain't that the same chapter that say boys ain't allowed to slap they sticks togeva?

Now, I ain't exackly seen Chris Brown put his anteater on somebody's sturgeon, but look a here at this dancing. Ain't this what the children do at the heathen clubs? Ms. Brown is givin me all types of feva in this video. Maybe this explains why he wailed on that big foreheaded chile from Africa: she ain't had the right mechanicals in the private area.

Jehovah, your chaps is too many things! Somebody go get me my Doans pills and hand me my church fan. You know. The one made out of paper with a picture of Jesus looking upwards and the words "The Sanctified Church of the Holly Roller Trinity Resurrection for the Divine Blood in Christ Trinity Tabernacle Ministries" printed on Jesus' dress. Yes, dress. Jesus was not ashamed of who he was.

Y'all got me to babblin. Look at this video and you tell me if Chris Brown took his piggy to the market. I gotta take my hat to the cleaners, play my numbers, and get my can of Colt 45.

Yeah. Of course, chile. Gunkified.

Cheeseburgers for Jesus

Church sissies is singing hymns for McDonald's and y'all mad at me?  Shit.

I wonder if Jesus likes Happy Meals.

Gunkified.

Cunts Can Get Life Too!

I have only one word: Yassssssssssssssssssssssss!